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Archive for the 'personal' Category

Twenty One Years outside Her Majesty’s Shithole

Thursday, November 28th, 2019

MBA graduation photograph

I bear no grudges, nor do I quarter those that hold their grudges against me. I spent 15 and a half years behind bars, the great majority inside maximum security, and on the day I was released on 28 November, 1998… I was let out of a prison van in the middle of the city centre as the newspaper ran a story about me in some beat up about the death penalty.

Nobody waited for me on my release at the prison gate. Nobody felt it was important enough to visit me for what accounted to a seven and a half year stretch through the middle of my sentence. So if anybody expects loyalty, friendship or some sort of obligatory finger-fuck… go read your fantasy novels. I owe nobody anything. I did my time, I survived… and I have prospered.

And I do know what’s pissed a lot of people off about my life over the last 21 years. It’s simply the issue that I’ve done just fine. I spent a decade at university achieving a Bachelor of Computing and a Master of Business Administration (with a specialisation in Journalism and Media Studies). My average mark across both degrees was exactly 80 per cent… High Distinction. I was on the Dean’s Honour Roll for Excellence in my undergraduate degree. Apparently the word on the street was that I was below average intelligence… so don’t believe everything people write or say about you. Bullshit walks, as they say. I’ve had a long list of people take credit for my demise without ever leaving their safe little bunker. I remember Chopper asked me one time, “why do you keep treading on the ants?” It was a habit I had. That I no longer have.

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Town Lore, Memory & the Bullshit of Time

Thursday, March 14th, 2019

I come from a small town in Northern Tasmania where I seem to have become a part of town lore over the last forty years. Particularly for some people with nothing better to do than gossip or pretend they are somebody important to those events. Sadly, if another person tells me they heard about “what happened at the caravan park” (one of many miss told tales of my invented biography) I’ll probably eat their face and wash it down with a pint of stout.

So I offer some corrections. Because on the Internet I can offer those corrections.

There was no incident at the caravan park. This story of town lore is based around several incidents in my youth that had no presence in any caravan park. Why is the lead in about a caravan park? To be honest, I have no idea.

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My Biggest Beer Brewing Lessons from 2018

Wednesday, January 9th, 2019

For about a decade I’ve been brewing various concoctions from mead to cider and fruit wine (and, yes, beer extract and wort kits). About a year ago, I received a grain mill for Christmas from my generous and loving partner and I almost immediately bought a BIAB (Brew in a Bag) set up for my move into all grain brewing. This year I have learned that making consistently good beer has it’s challenges.

Some 2018 Beer Lessons Worth Heeding

Beyond the rudimentary truth of obsessive cleaning and sanitisation of all brewing equipment the biggest tip I’d give anybody starting out is to ramp up the temperature of the brewing beer right at the end of secondary fermentation. Just when that airlock appears to be slowing right down to nothing. Why? Well, the yeast is struggling. Simple. It’s been making some heat of it’s own during fermentation and as it gets sleepier it therefore gets a little colder. And you need it not to go to sleep before it finishes the job of cleaning up all the bad stuff.

To that end, I have an electric blanket that helps just ramp the beer up a little right at the end. Makes a lot of difference to the final product. If you’ve got money for temperature control I’d highly recommend going down that road.

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About the Author

Steven Clark Steven Clark - the stand up guy on this site

My name is Steven Clark (aka nortypig) and I live in Southern Tasmania. I have an MBA (Specialisation) and a Bachelor of Computing from the University of Tasmania. I'm a photographer making pictures with film. A web developer for money. A business consultant for fun. A journalist on paper. Dreams of owning the World. Idea champion. Paradox. Life partner to Megan.

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